I am sitting holding my sleeping 4 1/2 month old after a rough night. Until this point we had been up together since 5 am and she woke up 2 times in between the rest of the night. I have been so desperately tired for the past week due to her newborn sleep schedule and I am totally exhausted. I am throughout the day hoping to nap when she naps but unfortunately my 3 year old does not like when mommy sleeps. When you are in the midst of this it seems unfathomable that you will make it another night like this. Especially due to the fact that I am no spring chicken...I am 38 and feeling like I am too old for all this. This stage as I remember was not fun with my 2 boys but I rebounded a little better or at least I think I did. Then in the delirium of not getting sleep I remind myself of my 2 fiercely independent boys and how I wish they wanted to cuddle and spend time with me. I know one day I am going to miss her needing me and believe it or not one day yearn for the sleepless nights just to have special time with her. Time seems to go by so quickly and I try to live in the moment as much as possible.